Today, April 28, 2025, marks 10 years that my dearest beloved husband passed through the veil of eternity. A journey of grief takes both emotional and physical twists and turns. My journey is full of countless memories of an amazing life shared, in sickness and in health, in sex and in sorrow. As the years pass, the fondness for this man remains deeply in my heart. The legacy he left in all who knew him, is empowering. Grief in its most basic form is an expression of love. Grief is acknowledgement of the loss. It is a way we honor the life and love of those who have gone before us. And in my case, I watched my beloved’s light slowly fade, as his illness claimed his body. He was not afraid of death. His strong faith sustained him. He knew that in his life on the other side, he would be whole and healed. I was privileged to share final, loving words, holding him and softly kissing his lips as he transitioned. My new journey thus began - without him, without his quirky wit, without his sometimes-impish looks and teasing, his uncanny ability to make me laugh, his unfailing love for me. He had so many special gifts. His death drove me do something I never imagined I would do – write a book (or a series of 3) about my personal experience of sexual bereavement. I wrote the first poem of my book, Sex and Sorrow 365, the next morning. I share that poem with you as well as a video I conceived with my Producer and friend, Martin Case, who fearlessly navigated a difficult bereavement journey with me as we conceived the format of my first book. I am also grateful for the years of support of family and friends who supported my desire to blow open this topic for more open discussion, and over the years, discussions with suffering adults led to my decision to pursue advanced study of sexual bereavement as a doctoral dissertation topic. Finally, for all of you reading this, it is always my hope for those of you who experience deep loss, or serious life changes, or obstacles that road block your life desires, find a new path to a joyful and fulfilling life, and that the love you have experienced continues to nurture new love for new lives that flow into your lives.
The Call
Silence in the dark of night
Then the bell sounding
And the phone ringing and the mind swirling
The inky dark of night grows shadows
That diminish all senses and
Words that are not heard, only reacted
Time is out of line with space and
The tragic new hits with unrealistic truth
That burns in one’s eyes and turns the world
Of married into widow.